Saturday, July 24

"Pink" Pages

A lot of my new hits are coming from Eastern Europe and parts of the world I've never visited. I was curious as to what was attracting these new readers. I did a little research into search terms. "Pink" seems to be a big one.

When I was in Poland, I experienced the oppression of the Catholic populace against the gay community and I was shocked that in this era, in the EU, that violence against homosexuals could still be so prevalent and so out in the open and if not sanctioned, certainly not condemned.

The internet is a link to a world that is still so underground in many countries. And there are many people in the world who still feel they are in situations where they can not be authentic. I guess for these readers, it must be disappointing to come here and find that I'm not writing about gay rights or about the best places to go in Vienna or Budapest to meet people of the same gender. And yet, I don't want to miss this opportunity to connect.

To the newcomers here:

YOU are welcome here.

Let me tell you a bit about me....When I lived in New York, I joined and then started chairing a bi-sexual discussion group at the NY Gay and Lesbian Centre on 13th street. Some people were passing through from the hetero world en route to deciding to come out as homosexual. And, some people were passing through from the gay scene, wanting to be accepted for having feelings for the opposite gender that were not tolerated in the gay community. And some were there, like me, because they felt that love should have no limits and they had recognised that whatever their (perhaps 'current') preference, that it was within them to love someone of either gender. If you are tempted to think that bisexuals have the best of both worlds, let me tell you, in my experience it is not true. Bisexuals are often shunned as 'passers' by the gay/lesbian community and feel incomplete in the "straight" world. We are 'queer.'

I had four cousins that I know were queer when I was growing up. One cousin lived with us for a year when he came out. His mother and father had disowned him and, although he was my father's nephew, bless her, my mother insisted that we take him in.

The cousin who lived with us died in 1985 of AIDS. He was among the tail end of the first wave of men in Vancouver to have contracted HIV and to have died that horrible death, first through isolation and later, through wasting, that was the fate of so many men in the early 1980s. It was then that gay rights and gay pride became part of my personal values.

I know that I am so very very fortunate. I live in a society where discrimination on the basis of age, gender, sexuality and national origin is illegal by law. Many of those who pass by here aren't that fortunate. But even the rule of law can be very different than the practice.

Since moving to London, a large part of my personality has been amputated. My feminism, my inner artist, my spirituality, my inner drag queen (come on - only a drag queen could pull off that pink wig), and my queer values have all been amputated in an attempt to get by in a patriarchal financial world where success is determined by gender, background, sexuality and Britishness. The world of law in the film Philadelphia is not so different from the London world of finance. It is still possible to tease, without reprimand, a colleague, by calling them 'gay' in an open plan office (read: weird or weak) or to laugh with the lads that one should never work with animals, children or women.

I do not wish to be a hypocrite - I know that I am solely responsible for the amputation of my soul. I tried to play the game but I was playing the wrong game, by rules in which I don't believe. I could try to change the rules, and I have tried. I think all that is left now is to change the game and set my own rules.

We know that one cannot live an authentic life being unbalanced in any aspect of one's personality. And yet, even at 45, I still struggle to live authentically. I am not just an accountant, I am not just middle aged, I am not just a woman, I am not just a feminist, I am not just an aspiring writer and photographer, I am not just a minister, I am not just an occasional flaming bitch, I am not just straight or gay.

I am, entirely, Pink.

I won't judge you and I ask that you please not judge me. We are all trying to find our way in this world.


Photo: borrowed from the internet


Anonymous said...

i am judging you



Pink said...

See? what did I say? You're a legend!


boneman said...

Gal, near as I can tell, we're all a bit "queer" from time to time.
I mean, I remember a picture of you hugging Sasquatch, right?
/t writes poetry with squares, circles and near mathematical coding.
Lil Lamb openly invites folks over for a friendly dinner, and most bring their grills and sauces...

oh...sexual orientation?
Oh...well, still. Most everyone has masturbated at least once (if not numerous times)...what sex were they manipulating at the time? Their own? so..."same sex"?

OK, maybe i should get off that bent else you'll have to get one of those age warning stickers to open your pages...

OK, I'll admit to it. I have bought a whore once in the Army. It was in Viet Nam, I was horny to beat the band, but every time the band saw me coming they would throw their trumpets and trombones at me. haven't been hit till a euphonium flies out'a nowhere and whacks you!
So, yes. I did buy sex...

OK, enough.
About gay rights.

It seems almost unbelievable that some people still today have no interest in gay rights.
They are human!
Matthew Shepard died at the hands of two brutal students, roped to a fence in Wyoming, and beaten and left to die.
One boy got two life sentences, and though deliberations were made to open up the death penalty for the other, the Mother of Matthew came forward, forgiving the boys for their actions, and begging the court to leave it go as life sentences, which was honored.
The anti-Hate Bill was drafted shortly thereafter, but despite President Clinton's pleas to pass the bill, it didn't.
Floundering at the hands of our own Republican Guard here in the USA, until only recently getting enough votes to pass and be signed by President Obama.
Good news/Bad news
The Bad news is, almost immediately after being signed into legislation, extremist religious leaders clamored about being targeted themselves for their stand on homosexuality.
The good news?
There is none.
To this day, people perpetrate hatred and foulness of behavior toward homosexuals for no ther reason than their mates.
Their sexual choice.
And it doesn't improve from ANY country.
An example of this can be found in (of all things...) the Pink Pages:

Hatred from the hands of religious zealots is about the worse kind of hatred of all.
In Iran, they stone people to death for masturbating, adultery, and promiscuity...and they do it for half time entertainment in sports arenas. Seems the rest of what is called the "civilized world" is right behind them.

NOT ME, however.
I stand firm on some basic tenets of what our constitution was SUPPOSED to stand for. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
As far as I'm concerned, Pink.
I'll wear your wig, too.
(no matter how bad it clashes with my color)

Pink said...

Boney - thanks for raising the issue of Matthew Shepard. I forget what its like outside the cities.

And I agree - we are all queer from time to time - so why can't we just accept one another?

you can borrow my wig any time!


Pink said...

ps - I heard a professor of political science on the BBC say something profound the other day.

"A democratic society cannot afford the luxury of tolerating intolerance"

Amen/Om/Inshallah/You go, girl to that!

Ur-spo said...

that is without doubt the bestest blog entry I have read in ages, on any blog

You are stunning.

puerileuwaite said...

I always wanted to ride a bisexual built for two.

(p.s. - thanks for the Black Bart siting reports; I'll catch that little rascal yet)

Pink said...

Thanks, Spo. Hope you had a lovely holiday.


Pink said...

pugsy - wouldnt that be a bisexual built for three? you me and the bart-man?


Serena said...

Pink rocks, and that's just all there is to it.

The Lone Beader® said...

Good post, PInk!

Pink said...




Pink said...

Beadie - thanks - you've got the puppy back - I like him :)


ANNA-LYS said...

Hi Pink,

Great post!
As You know we Swedes have come a long way with the issues You put forward. Problems as such are deeply rooted in peoples own uncertainty of their identity as humans. As Boneman put forward, we even make it with ourselves.

You wrote in my comments that You are going to Stockholm. I live 20 minutes from Gothenburg (the west-coast of Sweden), tell me if You are visiting this side as well. I think I will recognize Your wig anywhere ;-)

Ruela said...

Agree with you!


Pink said...


I'll let you know. I don't fly with the wig. I prefer to go incognito ;)


Pink said...


Its all you need! :)