Saturday, August 8

Gratitude, Joy, Oneness and Service (Day 354)

Today was a pretty uneventful day.  I settled in to work while it was quiet in the flat.

1. I am grateful for the good weather. It meant that my flatmates were out for the day and I worked in the kitchen catching up on my writing and working on the new platform.

2. I am grateful for a bit of proofreading from Cyn-.  I have to churn out a few articles in a very short time and it is exhausting.  I am working in deficit right now and my chest is congested now to add to the lost voice.  But, I just have to keep working towards the finish line.

3. I am grateful for pizza. Whilst Lk- has been helping me, we have been eating together and he eats pizza at lunch so never wants it for supper.  For me, once in awhile it is a godsend because all it requires is shoving in the oven to heat it.  I am depleted and in deficit so not spending energy cooking is necessary.  I am also grateful for Onken yogurt which is my other go to fast food, as well as bananas and tomatoes and toast.  I need to buy some vegetables now that our fridge has been replaced.  Hooray for that! 

Joy- it was a joy to spend the whole day without talking.  My voice is pretty bad but more to the point, I think we know how much I love quiet and space - especially when I am in a setback, which, I am in. Working and pushing through a setback is not a good idea, but the key is, I am conscious of it and I know what is coming at some point (hopefully after the 16th) 

Oneness - I rarely look back at previous posts and rarely edit unless I have just posted it and it doesn't look or read right.  Cyn- will often tell me when I mess up my grammar, botch up a sentence or use a word that gives a negative meaning that I didn't intend. Today, as part of the prep for my milestone event, I looked through some old posts. What struck me was how many days (most?) contained reference to being unwell, being exhausted, being in a setback.  That made me very sad and I really had a lot of compassion for myself.  I understand my frustration with wanting to get on with living a normal life, with getting back to paid employment and with having the energy to write around it.  That life might just be over for me.  I won't know until I try but I certainly can't go back to work full time. Not at first. When I look back at how unwell I have been and what I have managed to do, I feel really grateful that I found my way into this practice.  Without it, I think I would be depressed instead of radiant. I felt oneness with myself in those setbacks and love for myself for never giving up. 

Service - working on the new platform with free gratitude resources is my service for today.

I took no photos today but perhaps one from last week will apply to the mood of this post.

No comments: